hello sirs and madams not appearing. Literally. So team boston has lost two more and it could very well lose the battle all together. My god the thought of this winter is dismal. Well at least the fall is fucking beautiful. While you transplanted southerners bask in above freezing weather this winter, I will hold tight to the memories of foliage and changing seasons. Because man, fall rules. My jamaica plain fortress of never leaving requires a scenic jaunt past parks and ponds into the city which is in fact awesome. Really awesome. My neighbors own dogs and infants and most people out here are in relationships; I have heard of these things but never quite understood... psh. I did go to a block party the other weekend at the insistence of my neighbors- a punkish married couple and their upstairs engaged neighbors (common theme) had ventured up the street to a block party the week before and were welcomed as the only 4 white people with good vibes and a good time. They sold me on the next block party so Joey P and I made the effort to hike around the corner following the smell of bbq. Turns out that despite liberal voting histories, even the block parties are half segregated- this weekend being the all white- flaunt my toddler and Labrador around 4 square and bratwursts. I did eat sausage and helped myself generously to the dessert table but... i learned a couple valuable lessons. 1. Single males have absolutely no place in a neighborhood block party. 2. Showing up to said block party with another guy shakes off the weird vibe as you are assumed gay. 3. Women couples in there late 20s show no sympathy for toddlers playing 4 square. Spikes, dives, and score keeping all employed without mercy.
It was an experience but a pretty boring one at that. I was hoping for something slightly more... nonsegregated. At least the vegan coleslaw was not half bad. Free beers too.
Not much else up here. I work at the bike shop again which is not bad and get my days off during the week. Of the mountain of "real" jobs I have applied to, not a single company has said a peep so if any of you want to hire me in your respective corners of the world/ internet, I am available. cough cough.
I did go back home (upstate) last week to shred to motocross cheddar and hang out with my folks. I ate balanced meals and talked a lot of shop with the old man. Pictures to prove.
Hi blog, it's been a while. Summer is over, it twas a good one. Mel and Peaches' visit was aawweessomme. What Cheer? Brigade was such a mind blowing show (Oct. 10- Somerville. Anyone still in Boston should go) and Mel got a gorgeous tattoo of a unicorn standing on a rainbow with an arrow in its teeth.
I went to Oregon/Washington and had the best vacay of my life. We climbed up ten thousand stairs, McIntyre and I made Bloody Mary's by the lake, I got to see where my apt used to be. They are building a light rail there and it is a huge hole in the ground. Lara came down from Bellingham, we went to a bar called The Zoo where C List celebreties hang out. Later, AmyNO got off work and like a champ drank 3 whiskey sours in about 5 minutes. Went to Portland to meet up with my boo, Kate Banta, who was my other half when I first lived in Nola and who I haven't seen in 4ever. We camped on the coast and it was absolutely beautiful. We saw the sunset on the beach, stayed up all night and saw the sun rise over it too. Lara and I drove back to Washington with a PBR can for an oil cap and when the tire blew on the highway the rideshares fixed it and bought us dinner! I was driving and am very proud of not killing us since we were going 70 in the middle lane when the rear tire exploded. Bellingham, WA is a really cool, small city with students and hippies and crust punks all living in harmony. Mcintickle and Amy drove up and we all biked to some woods to jump off rocks. It was about 30 ft in the air and the highest I'd ever jumped from. I think my heart stopped at one point but it was exhilarating and worth the bruises from hitting the water all wrong.
August went by so fast. Justin and I biked to Bay St. Louis (60 miles one way) and camped on the beach. We did it over the course of a weekend bc 30 miles in I really wanted to lay down on the side of the road. There's also nothing on 90 between here and there except one gas station and two bars. It was a really pretty ride though and the amount of stars we saw at night was worth the fear of getting hit by a car in the dark. The day of rest was crucial and we explored a storm ruined baptist seminary and took sink baths at the cutest coffee shop in Mississippi. We went to Gatlinburg, TN the weekend after that to a cabin his friends get every year. Everyone was really fun even if they are mostly married and have real people lives. Gatlinburg is home to Dollywood, lots of mini golf and LOTS of pancake houses. The "cabin" was more luxurious than rustic but I will not say no to a hot tub. It is astonishing how much quicker one gets drunk in a hot tub, which I discovered while finishing a bottle of tequilla, naked, with all the other women, also naked. I remember that it was fun and after that I fell down giggling a lot.
School has started but I can't go bc of dollar dollar bills ya'll. I like my job at the coffee shop though so it's really not bad at all working full time making sandwiches and lattes. I'm still planning on going abroad next semester so saving up money is helpful there too. Sometimes I get bummed about it and feel really lame for continuously not being able to just get my fucking bachelor's degree but I know that I will finish (someday). I'm just sick of it taking so god damn long and then I get more frustrated bc I am the factor that is making it take so long. Mostly it's fine though. I'm not sure what to do with myself outside of work now that I don't have a higher purpose. Maybe I'll read all the books on my reading list, get really into yoga and garden every day. Or maybe I'll pick up that drug habit that's been such a long time coming. I dunno.
I am ecstatic that Sam and Logan are fiinnnaalllyyy here and was amazed to see such a slim, fit Chairman. I want to put him next to my tiny adorable kitten (whose name still is just Small! or TK short for Tiny Kitten) and have a photo shoot. This is TK in a bird cage that she crawled into to get away from the endless beatings from Gypsy and Genevieve.
That's about it. Right now I'm sitting on my porch, drinking a mimosa and thinking about how I should really fix my bike and clean my room. Here's a picture of a gas station just outside New Orleans on Highway 90:
That’s what they say right? Right?! Alright, they don’t, but when in Israel, you’re supposed to embrace being Jewish, that’s what they say, but apparently I just realize that I can’t get along with most people. It was a new world record of people put on auto-hate, what was the previous world record? I don’t know, but I’m sure I beat it. You all will soon match my world record, but we’ll get to that later.
For several days I spent time on a bus going through Israel with a bunch of other Northeastern students, most just ending their freshman years at college. Oh boy oh boy, these kids were so adorable. Aside from the fact that they were BORN DURING THE YEAR OF 1990, Holy Cow!, they all still listened and liked Dave Matthews Band, so cute, I know. Some little critters even called him by first name! Oh, to be young again.
Leaving on the 19th of August, I arrived at JFK, (RIP TK BTW), and met with the group. So far so good, everyone on this trip was super nice to be honest, but so far good on my part; my heavy sigh count was at zero. We got on a plane and headed to Zurich, I drank a few nips of whiskey I got some JW Red label. I realized I hate decent whiskey; I can only drink Jim Beam or Old Thompson. Does anyone else have that problem? Really tired at 10am Zurich time, we played an ice breaker, that name game picnic thing, although once we got to the letter C, it was changed to the Sex and Drugs version. I had the misfortune of being B, so what did I bring to the Sex and Drugs party? Beans. Why beans, I don’t know, but for the first few days I was known as the kid who brought beans. Wonderful. Nothing says party like beans.
We arrived in Tel Aviv, which was pretty cool, got on a bus, which we would travel on throughout the trip, then met our driver, guide and medic/guard who carried a rifle the entire trip. We were told we weren’t allowed to touch the gun or sleep with the gun or kiss the gun, but I’m pretty sure you were allowed to take it out to dinner and never call it back. The landscape on the ride to Jerusalem was breathtaking, a lot of hills and mountains in Israel, although they don’t got shit on that hill leading to the Space Machine.
This was the part of the trip that I realized I would be looking at a Jewish Timeshare. They never said it exactly, actually they did; they wanted us to fall in love with the country, marry Israeli’s and have Jewish children. If I want to, I could get Israeli citizenship whenever. The trip was littered with sessions where we’d tackle some tough subjects about religion and politics; I just sat around and let other people talk. This wasn’t enough during the last session when 12 small “flags” were placed on the floor and you had to choose the flag that best described your Jewish Culture. Woot.
A lot of the historical sites were interesting, the Western Wall was pretty intense, and we went during Shabbat. The entire city shuts down and a lot of Orthodox Jews and others are praying there for hours. A man with his family saw I was out of place and asked if I needed a place to spend Shabbat dinner. I said no thanks, but it would have been interesting if I was able to. Which brings me to the another part of the trip, everyone was on a short leash. I got in trouble because I walked two blocks back from the beach and their count was off one day. We weren’t allowed to leave the hotel and I got yelled at for looking hungover one morning. I felt like a child and everyone else on the trip acted like one for the most part.
The food was amazing, I ate too much falafel, hommus, lentil, rice and kebabs. I farted throughout the entire country, literally everywhere, here’s an abridged version of locations:
-Where Jesus was reportedly crucified (lol)
-The Jordan/Israel border
-The mountains bordering Egypt
-The Dead Sea (Which fucking hurt, oh my god. Never fart in a body of water that consists of over 30% salt)
-The Red Sea
-The Mediterranean Sea (Which you would think would be pristine, but it was littered with garbage. I probably cleansed it a tiny bit)
-On a camel
Also, speaking of the camel, camels are assholes.
In fact, I covertly farted so well, that no one even knew, until the plane landed back at JFK this most recent Sunday. The girl sitting in front of me while getting her bag from overhead storage exclaimed, “It all of a sudden smells like old cheese, probably that damn kosher food”. Damn kosher food indeed, honey!
So we drove a bus all around the country, through mountainous terrain, old holy cities, some Muslim towns, flat areas, etc etc. On one instance we were almost in the middle of a terrible head on collision. The two cars involved went on fire and the entire road closes with people running out with fire extinguishers or bottles of water, our bus driver included. Something like that I don’t plan to ever see in the US, 2 Palestinian cars pulled over as well and helped. No one died, on the scene at least, was pretty crazy. A lot of people were stunned and all totally ‘oh my god ahh, im in tears’. Grow up kids, shitty shit happens, you're traumatized for attention (which they got later, when we talked about it).
This brings me back to another habit I maintained during those 10 days, I sighed personally towards any annoyance I could. Some people started a clique in the back of the bus; they sang group songs whenever they could. Someone acquired a bongo, I died a little inside. Then someone acquired a guitar, I died a little more inside. There’s nothing worse than hearing these words; “I just learning guitar, but I can play Wish You Were Here!” Your father would be ashamed that you were knowingly tainting classic music. I was also lucky enough to hear renditions of Coldplay, Jason Mraz, “Dave”, Gun’s N’ Roses and Dispatch. I actually have a video of one of those songs. A lot of people danced to songs in the aisle of the bus as it drove too, also to shitty songs. Oh by the way, here is that moment I was talking about earlier:
All in all, I enjoyed myself, met a handful of people who I hope to keep in touch with and at nights smoked hookah, cigarettes and one night hash. Drank beers and embraced my Judaism long enough to make sure the trip was free of charge.
1. if you were forced to eat just one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? 2. what is the gift you have always wanted, or wanted real bad, but never received? 3. would you rather see the best show you have ever seen for a second time (in the same venue, and with the exact same circumstances) -or- see kittens form a human(kitten) pyramid?
please let me glimpse deeper into your lives.
also, i am at an internet cafe in the french quarter and they have the history channel on, and there is this man on the teevee just cold yelling about helicopters and scaring everyone. are any of you familiar with this man? any idea why he is so angry-passionate about BIRDS?
I shall make it my first order of business to relate to you a journal entry written by me for my Livejournal which i had lovingly titled "The Cats Are Fat". The date posted was 11:48pm on September 10, 2001 and I was 17 years of age:
I got a hot date TOMORROW NIGHT!!
I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into the wonders of my high school years
I was actually quite fortunate to find out about this this morning by reading this article, which my mom sent to me. Thanks Mom!
It's hard to overstate the importance of John Hughes to America. Rober Ebert pointed out that "The list of films Hughes directed, produced or wrote includes such enduring hits as "Sixteen Candles," "The Breakfast Club," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," "Uncle Buck," "Some Kind of Wonderful," "Curly Sue," "Mr. Mom," "Home Alone," "Pretty in Pink," "Weird Science," "She's Having a Baby," "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," "Beethoven," "101 Dalmatians" and "Baby's Day Out."" That's a lot of fuckin important and good movies right there.
In other news, Mel and Peaches are here, sleeping on the floor right behind me. Long night - went to a house show and sweated/danced our asses off, then the Half Moon, then The Saint, then FUCKING WAFFLE HOUSE YEAAAAAAAAA.
Got home around 5, online for work by 9:30. Working from home is the best invention since the Slap Chop.
I was sitting at my laptop in a sweatshirt and jeans IN JULY at 8:00am on a Wednesday procrastinating and hating this godforsaken corner of america that now apparently has 2 seasons: freezing fucking (sorry robbottomley) cold and disgusting sortof cold, WHEN I decided to google interior design porn. Who doesn't like creative porn on hump day? Anyway, there's this really amazing food porn site so, I figured maybe someone had done this with interior design. I was afraid (see: hoping) I would end up with like 57 bazillion porn results but instead since the googles is good at synonyms, a link to obscene interiors popped up. I thought it was pretty fucking hilarious and then when I got to the end of the pictures Dave Eggers told me it was hilarious, so I knew that it definitely was hilarious and that I am brilliant and an aesthete. The guy who wrote it also has a blog which has thus far left me crying with laughter. Thank you, Justin Jorgensen for giving me the gift of laughter in the wake of the loss of Michael Jackson, if just for a few fleeting moments.
in new news about old news, logan, our blog is now worth $3.28, which i think is a pretty good indicator that the economy is bouncing back and soon we will be wearing neon spandex and D & G suits and doing coke in the bathroom off of our eggshell business cards. that, or someone is licking some sacs at goldman sachs. speaking of, celebpunani.com's website has an estimated value of $65,163.41. somebody at goldman sachs must really like them.
p.s. no one is allowed to sell our blog for a can of sparxx until we are worth enough to buy one for everyone
