Showing posts with label poor life choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poor life choices. Show all posts

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Dark Fun Horse

So, I'm happy you're all having your "fun", but let me tell you, from one funner to another, my fun is more fun. I had so much fun on Thursday night that I was very late to work. I drove 80 mph blasting Lightning Bolt getting there in 10 minutes less time than it normally would take. Yay! I missed a meeting that I scheduled with my boss, and head of another department.

Oops!

I went into the weekend with no plans, Sking re-enacting ‘The Sound of Music’ and the Big Cat in the Big Easy. Shucks. I asked Chairman what I should do, but the fatty only Meow’d, put his butt into the air and drooled on the couch. The beast was no help.

Kallen and I figured we should at least buy beer, which we did. We walked to Allston because, exercise is fun and the 66 is not. We got some whiskey and partied throughout the night, I didn’t throw up! Kallen got a job at a porn store and I passed out on a couch. I also ate a lot of food all day the next day, watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, paid my respects to Paul Newman by eating Fig Newmans and went to a party in the apartment below us.

Ho! I nearly forgot! Best part is, we only paid 2 dollars for public transportation, so although you might think you had more fun than us, our fun:dollar ratio is like a bajillion times better. So there!

Monday, June 2, 2008

vehicular homicide


Regardless of who you are supporting in the Democratic Primary (that will never ever end) I think we can all agree that this is fucktarded. Why would you ever, ever do this to your car? It's Monday morning and this makes me angrier than it should.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

never have i ever thrown a cupcake and started a war


Jesus Christ! I almost started a war this weekend; a war which shall be known forever and ever as the Cupcake War.

I was at a party in JP and this drunk kid threw a cupcake. As soon as he threw it I had this cartoon image of a cupcake hitting the wall and slowly sliding down, leaving a trail of vegan frosting. So I encouraged him to throw more. Which was surely a poor life choice but nothing in comparison to what happened next. Drunk Kid threw the cupcake, not at the wall but at the angry dudes in the corner. Within, like, seconds there was a huge fight. Over a cupcake. And it was my fault. So I stood up and said that I threw the cupcake, hoping that everyone would just calm the fuck down. While my taking blame for the cupcake totally quelled the situation with the angry dudes ("Oh, it was just some Bitch"); it caused some girl to try to fight me. Like, actual aggression in your face type fighting. Over a cupcake. Never have I ever seen so many angry people in one room.

Memorial Day 2008 // Cupcake War // Never Forget.