Thursday, July 30, 2009


I know there are some people out there (Silva) who sit around and wonder, "Man, I wonder what the coolest fucking thing on the internet is."

I found it.

That's right - it's Wilt Fucking Chamberlain and Andre The Fucking Giant holding up Arnold Fucking Schwarzenegger on the set of Conan.

Bask in it. Let its glory penetrate yr every orifice.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

one hour later. still sucking at life on hump day.

I was sitting at my laptop in a sweatshirt and jeans IN JULY at 8:00am on a Wednesday procrastinating and hating this godforsaken corner of america that now apparently has 2 seasons: freezing fucking (sorry robbottomley) cold and disgusting sortof cold, WHEN I decided to google interior design porn. Who doesn't like creative porn on hump day? Anyway, there's this really amazing food porn site so, I figured maybe someone had done this with interior design. I was afraid (see: hoping) I would end up with like 57 bazillion porn results but instead since the googles is good at synonyms, a link to obscene interiors popped up. I thought it was pretty fucking hilarious and then when I got to the end of the pictures Dave Eggers told me it was hilarious, so I knew that it definitely was hilarious and that I am brilliant and an aesthete. The guy who wrote it also has a blog which has thus far left me crying with laughter. Thank you, Justin Jorgensen for giving me the gift of laughter in the wake of the loss of Michael Jackson, if just for a few fleeting moments.

i'm just gonna start posting lots of mundane shit 'cause i am back on the wagon..or off of it..however that idiom works

in new news about old news, logan, our blog is now worth $3.28, which i think is a pretty good indicator that the economy is bouncing back and soon we will be wearing neon spandex and D & G suits and doing coke in the bathroom off of our eggshell business cards. that, or someone is licking some sacs at goldman sachs. speaking of,'s website has an estimated value of $65,163.41. somebody at goldman sachs must really like them.

p.s. no one is allowed to sell our blog for a can of sparxx until we are worth enough to buy one for everyone

Monday, July 20, 2009

every time affirmative action is employed a racism fairy loses her wings

this just in: white men basically built america so they deserve all of the riches of babylon. also, B & E is code for black and entering. here's a nice nightcap and/or good morning kiss from the fat lips of racist cantabridgians and pat buchanan's wormy little mouth.


Friday, July 17, 2009

I would just like to point out....

that the initial line-up for Maryland Death Fest 2010 has already been announced. Holy fuck.

SINISTER (Netherlands)
MELECHESH (Netherlands)
PORTAL (Australia)
INGROWING (Czech Republic)
GRIDE (Czech Republic)
JESUS CRÖST (Netherlands)



I'm particularly excited about Autopsy, Eyehategod, Coffins, Portal and 16. Obituary and Pentagram should be a good time, too. Also Tombs and Howl. Jesus.

Ok, you can go back to not caring about metal now. Pansies.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


i only have 10 days left at work. 10 days! i feel like a ghost. all i have left to do is to finish my exit reports and no one will give me new work in the meantime. so i just slowly type reports, day dream and manipulate pictures of you jerks on

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

2 things that happened last night that made me sad, 3 if you count going to phoenix landing

i was walking home from phoenix landing (yes, phoenix landing) last night and a woman approached me on the street holding a sonogram photo, smoking a cigarette. she told me she was 5 months pregnant and really needed some money, because she had to take care of herself ... being pregnant and all. i told her no, because she was smoking a cigarette. she got really upset, started yelling and told me that she shouldn't have to sleep on the street just because she smokes. i agree with that, but if you are asking for money because you are pregnant and need help don't fucking smoke cigarettes, which cost, what like $7.50 a pack? i dont know if she was really pregnant, or if it was just a scheme to get money from young women. either way it made feel pretty awful, about everything.

i made it back to davis square without further advances, but then, out of nowhere some dude started driving real slow-like along side me. then he rolled down his window and told me to get in, there was something he would like me to hear. like music equals candy for grown ups. i told him no thanks. but he kept asking/telling me to get in. and then he pulled over and started to open the passenger door which really kind of freaked me out. then from the fog, came my knight in shining armor. or just some dude from tufts who walked up and asked if i was ok. it was enough to spook the lurker, and he was kind enough to walk me to the corner. from there i walked home as fast as my legs would carry me (i dont think i bent my knees once). when i got home, i felt drunk and sad. both experiences really just bummed me out on life, and on boston.

boston, it has been fun. but now i am going to leave you.