Friday, October 31, 2008

US Economy: Consumers Throw in `the Towel' as Spending Falls

this foto of dogs dressed up like fast food makes me hungry.

this dog looks like an actual pirate.

this dog got stabbed in the face.

i really like bugs.

this isnt even a costume. someone call MSPCA.

they are not klan-dogs, they are just racist ghost dogs.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sunshine and Rainbows

Lately there has been a lot of angst and anger on this blog. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. Bash the Palinatics, sneer at those hipsters and rip on Barbara West as she accuses all Demos of being Scandinavians who read their children Marx as bed-time stories.

But, today I came across this. It made me happy and I want to share it with you.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Um, Silva?

Hi Allison. Is there something you've been meaning to tell us?

...I know kung fu

You've been moonlighting as a paparazzi, and a male one at that? Very clever, but it's clear that your thing for Ted "Theodore" Logan would come to interfere sooner or later.

Recommended Viewing

Friday, October 24, 2008

Just when Fox News has you thinking, "Okay Palintards, you can't POSSIBLY get worse"...

They come up with this shit.

The basic gist of the article is that Obama, as a community organizer is Chicago, was a "disciple" of Saul Alinsky, who was one of the chief architects of the modern community organizing movement in Chicago.

Obama is an on-the-record fan too: Fund quotes The Washington Post’s Peter Slevin, writing in 2007, “Obama embraced many of Alinsky’s tactics and recently said his years as an organizer gave him the best education of his life.” Slevin further noted that Obama’s and Hillary Rodham Clinton’s “common connection to Alinsky is one of the striking aspects of their biographies.”

Yea, not tenuous at all.

Getting past that, though, is the least of our concerns. Pinkerton then goes on to assert that Alinsky's epigraph to his seminal book "Rules For Radicals" means that he's a "Lucifer admirer." The epigraph goes:

Lest we forget at least an over the shoulder acknowledgement of the very first radical, from all our legends, mythology, and history … the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom—Lucifer.

If any of these mouth breathers bothered to read further than the title page of the book, though, they'd find out that Alinsky was clearly being glib. One of his central tenets of being a successful organizer is HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR. But of course, liberal = godless sodomite = SATANIST. And so, Alinsky, and by tenuous association Obama, LOVES LUCIFER.

Tragically, as Pinkerton points out, "the Obama-Alinsky-Lucifer connection is left to float around in the vast soup of the Internet—plenty of mentions, here and there, but no real impact." Until now, libtards!!! Eat it up and watch That One lose!!!

My favorite part, though, is always when Fox, inevitably, plays victim to the dirty mainstream liberal gun-stealing media:

OK, so the Alinsky-Obama connection is real. But the full truth about Alinsky, and whom he admired, is so wacky, or so horrible, that even the media have been reluctant to get into the story. And so it has received relatively little play. Oh sure, if John McCain had expressed admiration for a Lucifer admirer, that would have been news, but as we all know, there’s a media double standard on such things. That media bias is lamentable, of course, but for a Republican, it’s part of the strategic landscape—one more roadblock to factor into any GOP victory strategy.


Oh also, this video from Kos made my day so hard.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sorry to be a bum out

Lo siento amigos, I feel bad being a Depressing Devon on sirnotappearing when really what I want to do is post lists and pictures of cats saying LOL but here is some crazy bad news:

Final Call Article

PARIS, Texas ( - When the body of a 24-year-old Black man in Paris, Texas was discovered in the middle of a busy road, law enforcement declared the case a hit and run by an unidentified driver.

Now this small racially-divided town's worst fears are brewing, with evidence pointing towards two White men who picked up Brandon Clelland in their Dodge truck before he was found mutilated and dismembered in September.

Forensics performed by the Texas Rangers found blood from Mr. McClelland and other DNA evidence on the undercarriage of the truck which has the victim's family calling the death a "Jasper-style" lynching. The term is a reference to the murder of a Black man in Jasper, Texas in 1998.

"This was not a hit and run. They (Finley's family) hid the truck and even tried to wash the blood off. The police didn't even tape off the crime scene and some of my son's body parts were still lying out there," said Ms. McClelland, as she wiped away tears.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

bear-ly legal

so i think that anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me knows that bears rank at the tip-top of my top five favorite animals list. so you can imagine my horror when i read this.

why write an angry blog post when wonkette already has? and so explicitly!

"Here’s a fun “treasure” map for everyone who wishes to know where the real Bitters in this country dwell: take any wide East Coast state — North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York — start at the ocean, move directly west through the beaches and the cornfields, then the cities and centers of commerce, the suburbs, the exurbs, more fields, and after a few hours you’ll reach some foothills, and it is there, in any of these states, that you’ll find places like Cullowhee, North Carolina, where dead bloody black bears [oh now we get it! -- Ed.] are left on college campuses and covered in Obama signs for no reason at all beyond meth, moonshine, racism, inbreeding, and a complete break with the unwritten rules of basic decency that supposedly govern a civilized society.

Cullowhee is immediately southeast of Great Smoky Mountain National Park, where there are bears EVERYWHERE, and so a couple of mouth-breathers found one and killed it and decided, “Right quick let’s done put this bear on the fancy schoolgrounds with some dem signs of the teevee Mooslim all atop it like, haw haw haw.”"


Monday, October 20, 2008

Our cliché party has nothing on these

Back from Detroit and bogged down with a crippling amount of responsibility, I decided the best thing to do was procrastinate on the interwebz. I thought perhaps another "lists" idea could involve something about Halloween costumes. In a terrible accident I happened upon a frightening number of non-ironic costumes. For your viewing pleasure:

Trophy Wife
Dignity Not Included

Sexy Anna Rexia
Comes in Plus Sizes!

Sex [sic] Corrupt Cop Costume
because there's nothing sexier than a corrupt cop. Faux razor blade necklace included. Great for...doing blow? cutting yourself? both?
Rapsta' Boys Costume
Blackface for the kiddies!

and the toddlers....

Blow Pop Child Costume
Just. wrong.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

you know you're a hipster if:

1) you use the term pejoratively all the while knowing full well that you're classified as such by passersby
2) you own a pair of converse allstars and call them chucks
3) your walls have spraypaint and/or chalk on them instead of elitist framed paintings
4) you own a pair of raybans (knockoffs if you're nasty)
5) your fanny pack is full of the only necessities in life: pbr, whiskey and a pack of cigarettes
6) you wear your scarf in the "pepper-spray ready" position to go to the sweaty hipster dance party
7) you read gawker
8) your blog posts are written to inspire lolzing and reference gawker
9) you feel weird in flared jeans
10) your hipster glory kodak moment has been captured by a complete stranger and published to the interwebz (which is something you'd never know if it weren't for the fact that you peruse several weekendpartyupdate blogs (in case you might be featured on one)).
11) (because top ten lists are soooo mainstream) you think it's funny that my cat just pawed across my computer screen and typed this: "-p00000"

Thursday, October 16, 2008

OMG we're hipsters!

So Friday night we went to 80s night at One Eyed Jack's in the French Quarter. We had a pre-party (at our friend's sweet apartment above the bookshop he works at) and even a pre-pre-party where we made pizza, watched part of Purple Rain and dressed in as many clashing articles of clothing as we could. Then this happened, though I don't quite remember it:

Um, yea.

(The whole gallery.)

Then, KDHL has to go and send out this article which, like every other article I've ever read in Adbusters, makes me want die for ever having bought anything.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

a good wife always knows her place

i am feeling very pestilent this afternoon. and, no, its not because of the chronic nosebleeds i have been experiencing as of late. nor is it because my face swelled to inappropriate proportions while i slumbered last night. but, thanks for asking. the truth is i was on facebook earlier today, judging high school friends (you know how we do) and one of my friends posted photos of her honeymoon. i couldn't help but notice all of the comments were to the effect of "wow you are the hottest wife ever" and "you guys are such an attractive couple, you'll have such beautiful babies". i found these comments totally offensive.

shouldn't we as, twenty-something women want to be something more than a trophy wife and/or baby farm? shouldn't we be offended when our closest friends comment only on our looks and gene pool?

but she wasn't offended. she was flattered. i think it's super sad that the smart and interesting girls i grew up with are now just perpetuating the stupid role of obedient wife, mother and housekeeper.

i stumbled, via jezebel, onto the Good Wife's Guide from the May 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly. what i find most upsetting about this guide is that women my age actually adhere to some of these tips, even today. like, my fucking god, really? anyway the guide is pasted below for your viewing pleasure. that being said, have i told you lately, that you are all super hawt?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Journey to the Suburbs

Yesterday mid morning Drew and I pulled ourselves together, after a night of 80's dancing and whiskey induced black outs for my colleague, to go to the Gumbo Festival. The governor of Louisiana issued a proclamation in 1973 that declared Bridge City to be the "Gumbo Capital of the World." The town is about 6 blocks long and aptly named because it is practically under the Huey P. Long Bridge.
Biking along the earthen levee is sooo nice and definitely the smoothest road in New Orleans. But we got to the bridge and learned biking across is impossible and walking would've been terrifying. So we hitchhiked over in the back of a pickup and then walked the rest of the way. The festival was so cute with lots of old people and food and carnival rides. Sadly no carnies that I could see. But we did get to watch a kid throw up on one of the rides.

We hitched back with a guy who had no apprehensions about turning his soul music up real loud and singing along about how Mama won't cheat you or something. We spent the rest of the day invading suburbia by bicycle visiting such parkway hot spots as Barnes and Noble , a sporting goods store and Target. In true mall rat fashion we didn't buy anything at Target, just walked around touching stuff. Then we looked for Vietnamese food that was closed, got some sushi, realized we were practically at the airport and started the 17 mile bike ride home. Our complete 34 mile route:I was going to sell beer at the Saints game today for extra cash but woke up really really sore so we slept till noon and made pizza instead. Now I've been writing this blog post instead of doing my midterms. Thank you Jesus for giving us this day of rest.

Friday, October 10, 2008

CT Supreme Court to rule on gay marriage today!

So if they rule in favor, does this mean 2 d00ds can marry each other?

Update: We won!! Marry 'em all!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Apparently the staff at Google like to get sloshed on whiskey and PBR and use their sticky dirty digits to type out slurred emails to ex-lovers and estranged friends too! It totally does suck to wake up the next morning with that nauseating feeling that you probably said something like "but......... still i love ueven tho i always thought your brother wojuuld be betrafsrtter in bed." Fortunately, mail goggles will cure any itchy drunky fingers at 4 am on Friday by requiring you to answer a series of math questions before your email is sent out. Unfortunately, women, genetically bad at math, may find this clever filter system prevents them from sending any emails at all. Oh gee.

p.s. if you have never been the recipient or sender of a drunk email, then i have no idea how you became friends with this crop of bloggers but here's a lesson.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


...on the internet so it must be true

Monday, October 6, 2008

Kissin' Cousins

Is this something I should have been aware of a long time ago?

The website was created for the sole purpose of advertising the fact that Giuliani married his second cousin. He claimed that he thought she was his third cousin during the annulment proceedings. It's okay, Rudy, you're in good company. The list of other famous "kissin' cousins" marriages includes Mary n' Joseph (incest breeds babies made of magic!), Edgar Allen Poe & Virginia Clemm (he was 26, she was 13!), Albert Einstein & Elsa Löwenthal (nein kinder)and Jesse James & Zerelda "Zee" Mimms (incest also breeds lawyers!). Of course, all of the individuals who made it to this prestigious list were born before 1900, but you know, cousin-love knows no social stigma.

A vulgar display of bi-partisanship

Sunday, October 5, 2008

dick in a box

i have time capsules on the mind today. did you know, that there are two types of time capsules? there's the intentional time capsule which is filled with sundries of the time. and then there is the unintentional time capsule which is generally a result of some horrible, lava-induced disaster. according to leading time capsule scholar, William Jarvis, "most intentional time capsules usually do not provide much useful historical information: they are typically filled with "useless junk", new and pristine in condition, that tells little about the people of the time. by comparison, Pompeii contains a wealth of material about daily life, such as graffiti on walls, food in hearths and the remains of people trapped under volcanic ash." i can only imagine what archaeologists would think if the space machine were to be filled with burning lava and time-capsulated. i fear we would give 21st century humans a bad name. nothing but pbr in the fridge, whiskey in the freezer, barren food cabinets and a mummified, overweight cat wearing a spiked collar.

also, did you know that during the period of socialism in the USSR, time capsules were buried with messages to the people who would live in the future communist society? communist capsules. yay!

anyway, i would like to make a space machine time capsule (ohh, how horribly redundant) to bury in the backyard, or in kri's vagina. this will be like the message in a bottle project we did on st patricks day, except we wont be allowed to open it a month later. and hopefully erich wont bleed.

what shall we put in my time capsule? you must all come up with one thing. and dont be douchebags; this is how we will be remembered by our children's children's children's children's children's horrible mutant space robot's children.


That is the name of the club/bar I went to this weekend. Upstairs is a full service restaurant that looks like an Applebee's decorated by Rob Zombie. The basement is a cozy place with stone walls where you can listen to Euro-techno-pop-clash (new genre?) and do the ol' bump and grind with your favorite strangers.

Berlin is one of the most random cities I've ever experienced. In my neighborhood there are high-end boutiques and art galleries neighboring used goods stores that carry kitsch 60's chairs, apparel and shoes. The goods aren't put on the shelves but simply scattered on the floor. Right down the street is a coffee shop that gave birth to a Bed Bath and Beyond. One side sells coffee and sweets, the other has a fully decked out bedroom set. I have no answers.

I you-tubed the VP debate. I think 's jack daniels and cheetos cheese finger analysis was pretty spot on.


Friday, October 3, 2008

I believe the phrase is , Drill, Baby, Drill

Last night i ate cvs CHEEEEEEtos, drank jack and coke and spent most of the debates talking over the talking heads about how sexy it would be if biden and it. on. if you know what i mean, winky winky winky sexy soda sexxxx sexx. to the best of my recollection, this is how they went:

Biden: I wrote the violence against women act
Palin: soccermoms, joe six-pack, hockey moms (holds baby, licks baby spit-up off of silk suit)

Biden: My wife and daughter died and my two sons were gravely injured
GWEN IFILL: ahem....awwwwkward

Palin: Maverick, maverick, maverick, malkovich, maverick, malkovich

Biden: McCain and Maverick have NOTHING in common. I love him anyways.

Palin: ohhohoho i don't think so joe! They both begin with "M"...didn't think about that one didya? (WINKY WINKY)

Biden: I love the gays...sort of

Palin: I tolerate the gays...sort of

GWEN IFILL: so you both hate the gays?

Biden: yes

Palin: yes

GWEN IFILL: the people who watch PBS say we're still at war

Biden: the Iraqis are richer than we are. Let's get outta there.
Palin: [rips off femmebot suit revealing American flag bikini. breaks into song:

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Biden: NATO, Darfur, the economy, Bosniaks, the UN, things you don't understand and can't remember what the acronyms stand for or what country they are connected to, Serbians, Croats, African Union

Palin: I watch debates.

Palin: Jesus died on the cross so that we could shoot wolves from the sky! (credit Bridgette Lantagne with this line)

Biden: god bless american freedom fries troop!

oh garsh, that palin lady is just 2cute

Myspace Glitter Graphics

Oh hay thar

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I sat outside class this afternoon, tea in hand and headphones placed deep within my earlobes, watching people pass. Down the way, approximately 10 feet from my very pleasant seat, a girl began to yawn. I watched her face stretch to accommodate her ever widening mouth and soon enough, the yawn hit capacity. The girl continued to walk with her face stretched taught and mouth wide open, tilted slightly up while I started to laugh wondering when this epic yawn would end. Time continued (approaching approximately 20 or so seconds) and still she yawned with her absurd facial expression held. Eventually her face slackened and the giant cavity sealed; the girl carried on her way and I went to class. It was a beautiful moment in my life.