Monday, September 29, 2008

Vote McCain for Ms. Congeniality

Apparently, hipsters can be patriots too. Take that College Republicans.

First chance I get I am totally taking a bubble bath, while smoking Gauloises and sipping a tumbler of Glenlivet as I listen to this on repeat. (okay fine, i'll actually be leaning out of my window smoking camel lights and sipping on a pbr...whatever, a girl can have dreams.)

Emo Corey Calls Wahhmbulance, Eats French Cries

emo boy waaahhs
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Rocky I

In the end of the movie they say Apollo Creed won but really since he was the more experienced heavyweight and it was so close, Rocky should've been declared winner. So in Debate II Baracky will have a KO when McCain can't stay away. And then there will be montages. Lots of them. I wasn't really paying attention to the election even after watching the debate. All that talk about bracelets was just too much. BUT I just watched the SNL skit of Katie Couric's interview with what's her face and the fact that the dialogue was almost identical really did it for me. It's not that I didn't care before. But this means now I will start reading Wonkette almost as much as Sam does and will compare Drew's updates on how high John McCain has raised his arms.

Also someone yelled this out on Friday night "DOESN'T ANYBODY REALIZE HOW MUCH HE LOOKS LIKE SANDY THE SQUIRREL?!"

Sorry, Barry. I think she's right.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Better that my dreams be dashed than my brains

Things which, at one point in my life, I thought I might have been, but which, since the age of 25, I have realized I will never be or do (this is way more quarter life crisis-y for me than it is for you 22 year old kids. i will live to 100, kdhl. i will!)

1. child prodigy
2. a princess
3. deaf (hey, everybody wants to be like their parents)
4. featured on the pages of 17 magazine
5. 5'8
6. a polyglot
7. an ivy league graduate
8. a prima ballerina in the New York City Ballet
9. a prude
10. a non-smoker

things that i am still holding out to be/might be doomed to be

1. an international human rights lawyer
2. a vapid housewife who shops all day and buys matching throw pillows and eats brie and strawberries for breakfast
3. someone who's been to jail for justice
4. an avid collector of first editions
5. itinerant
6. fluent in french and spanish
7. in a feminist post-punk garage band
8. resident of a magical housing co-op with a library that has one of those rolling ladders and rooms for all of my friends
9. discovered
10. making a living off of writing and googling

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

a ha!

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Alcoholic Chain-smoking Puppy joins the festivities


This will be more fun when I'm drunk/not at work.


Cory + Grandma AAF
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we are between the wars


i fancy myself a misanthrope

Cory turns 25
Build your own Blingee

In honor of Cory J. Cocomazzi

Samantha and I have come up with a new activity to help you all waste even more time - make your very own BLINGEE for our resident birthday boy CORY J COCOMAZZI.

He's a big cuddly teddy bear, folks - show the love.

You should post them here for all to enjoy. Also, while you are all winners in your own special ways, in a better, more accurate way, only one BLINGEE can reign supreme, so Samantha and I will be judging your submissions and personal lifestyles.

Here are some photos to mold into awesome:

Happy Birthday Cory!!!!!1!

ur old now.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

third week away from the space machine

I just want to take a short moment to mention that time is passing, and I have been separated from my home at the space machine for 3 weeks now. I miss it and all of my roommates dearly. You were all so clean and considerate and we had such a responsible adult lifestyle. The Chairman is always in my thoughts and I hope that he is getting by ok with out me.
I will say though that, love him as I do, I thought it was a little bit weird that Logan Roommate taped a life sized poster of Bill Cosby's head above the mirror in my room the day he moved in, in order for me to "look in the mirror and pretend I was Bill Cosby." Um. Ok.
Oh and one day he put doll pieces displayed in a glass case in my secret closet. And I always just had a weird feeling that he was lurking in my room when I wasn't there... and then one night I came come and found him asleep in my bed. So, I guess he did lurk. And he never stopped talking about my period. To the point that he suggested that I keep in a jar in order for him to bathe in. There was also that time that Sam and he and I were going to take a pleasant road trip to CT to visit Jess and Alison and he packed a blade of grass so that he could use it to annoy me while driving... I mean, no big deal, just a little inconsiderate right? ya, I mean... LR was pretty cool... it was just once in a while, I just thought, I don't know, it was just weird. And then I would clean up, or change the litter box, or buy laundry detergent for the apartment and he would take credit for it!!! Like tell Sam that it was him. He even asked me to give him cash to chip in for the dish soap that I bought! I mean, that was the last straw. I am not complaining about him, but one day I was like Logan Roommate is cold weird, I'm the fuck out of here.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Things that had been planned in the 21 prior that don't seem to be:

1. a professional motocross racer/ bmx bike rider/ skateboarder/ snowboarder- when i was like 12 i said to myself, "at this rate, by the time I am like 21 I will be Pro"
2. an accountant
3. a guitarist
4. flexible
5. To run forward off a diving board and flip backwards
6. a country person
7. the inventor of a wildly successful and useful gimmick
8. my brother
9. able to be buried in a jewish cemetary
10. religious

Things that as of 21 may still come to be:

1. a vagrant
2. sustainable
3. burt reynolds moostache
4. victim of vices
5. live in a place where the stars show at night but doesnt suck
6. one who practices what they preach
7. an inventor/ engineer
8. an author/ poet
9. homeless
10. in good company

I haven't posted in a while but often feel that the domestic life does not warrant writing quite like traveling; so much time to think and write and miss friends and the onslaught of new sites which want to be shared. There is a tree growing out of my foot and I have returned to Northeastern University where I feel generally content though continually detached. The school has pushed a career so deeply down my throat that i have burped up something which smells more like "vagabond" than "successful". I do very much enjoy the weather and being outside throughout the day and having the option to "go". This summer has been so good- high spirits and tall glasses with late nights and perfect weather with all of you (insert adjectives here: _______) people.

Has anyone mentioned the Rave? This has to be blogged (sam, logan, kri, cough cough)

Its a long winded tale that still tastes like whiskey and rave sweat:

We started the night at Grandmas and went to see cory play at "the bar at the end of the world" which required marching through the backside of cambridge (think of inman as the sexy lower back and marching downward through the buttcrack into the grundel region of the cambridge/ somerville anatomy). Somewhere around the butthole came incredible pounding bass in the form of a Rave! We passed on, knowing that further down the road was Cory's sweet sweet... show. Returning on the same path, sam pulled out a giant bottle of whiskey and a life choice was needed to be made. On one hand, tiredness and general responsibility said to not drink that whiskey and head homeward while the other knew full well that tremendous gulps coupled with a rave under McGrath Memorial Highway would yield fruitful and headaching results. Naturally, we all drank, danced, led conga lines 30+ strong behind tractor trailers to drink more whiskey and somehow started a Limbo game using glow sticks.

From here I will pass the story on to others who attended. Stories to be divulged include:

The sack of doughnuts
What happened to Nate Hartwell?
Gogol Bordello
Why were my shorts on top of the fridge for days after?

Please carry on the torch

Leaving the nest.

I have taken off the train-wheels and created my own personal blog. Have no fear I will still post on this great creation of Ms. Samkingggrrr but I needed to create something to keep people up-to-date while in Germany who were outside of the 'space-machine' realm.

Here is the link:

You keyboard wizards can also find it via my profile. The blog is crude and elementary at the moment, feel free to post with suggestions on how to jazz 'er up.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Oh hey thar

I normally lurk the blogosphere but Kri demand I becoming a blogger or else there will be a blogstorm or something. It's unclear, but the threats have been trickling in.


Things which, at one point in my life, I thought I might have been, but which, since the age of 22, I have realized I will never be or do:

-A Harlem gentleman
-A successful politician
-Bearer of a hairy chest
-A wise spender of money
-On Wikipedia legitimately
-Happy with my education
-That dude who doesn't have the boner
-Not be associated with Long Island

Things which I might still be or do:

-More awkward
-Man of the year 2009
-A Nymphomaniac
-Clinically Insane
-Live abroad
-Become a broad
-Live abroad as a broad
-The next big thing in Japan

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Secret World of Sam King

Just sayin'

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Carnivor's Paradise

Update time, but first I must bare my soul to you all.

My list of things which, at one point in my life, I thought I might have been, but since the age of 23, I have realized I will never be:

1. Cat lover
2. The neighborhood garbage-man (childhood dream job)
3. The Kaiser
4. Fan of abstract film
5. Musical prodigy
6. Premier of Quebec
7. Acrobatic
8. Co-star in a film with Tom Selleck, specifically: Mr. Baseball
9. NASCAR legend
10. Captain Nemo

Things I still might be:

1. Stay-at-home Dad
2. Lounge singer
3. Frequent blogger
4. Diplomat/elected official
5. Capable of understanding the humor in Woody Allen movies
6. Tattooed
7. Good listener
8. Fluent in russian
9. PTA president
10. Travel writer

Wow, that was taxing.

The German life is good. This past weekend we celebrated the birthday of my host-Dad, Wolfgang. The celebratory meal made Thanksgiving look like a vegetarian Sunday sampler. Picture this: a pork loin wrapped in bread, which was then wrapped in ground beef and wrapped with an outer layer of bread. Oh, and I can't leave out the fact that in each end of this log was a hardboiled egg. I'm going to be pretty porky by the time I leave here.

My group of fellow Americans is getting a little restless in this town, personalities are clashing and drama is brewing. At our first 'cultural workshop' we broke into an intense discussion about race in America, an unexpected topic in a seminar aimed at addressing our culture shock in Germany. It's strange how you don't realize the cultural differences and varying perspectives in your own country until you leave it. I've never been in such a diverse group of people from the states and I love it.

On a lighter note, Reed came to visit.

It was good to see a face from home and watch him interact with my host-mother Irmgard. His name sounds very similar to the local dialects' word for the Rhein river. Whenever he entered the room her eyes lit up and she would greet him with a mighty: "RRHEEEEEE!" and then chuckle. In the mornings I could hear her saying it to herself while she made us breakfast. Reed was a big hit.

Only two more weeks left in this sleepy vacation town, then on to the bright lights of Berlin.

Happy 9/11 everyone!!!!!!!

In remembrance of the Twin Towers and the 2,974 people who lost their lives in the tragic events of 9/11, I will play along with your silly list game.

Things which, at one point in my life, I thought I might have been, but which, since the age of 24, I have realized I will never be:
  • A beautiful lady
  • A resident of anywhere other than Massachusetts
  • Someone who has never been to Texas
  • Ambitious
  • Morrissey
  • A fire truck
  • Witty and/or charming
  • A wine connoisseur
  • A free spirit
  • Happy

Things which I might still be:
  • A beautiful lady
  • A wizard
  • A beer connoisseur
  • A serial killer (jk lolz... not really)
  • A big pompous rock star
  • Chad
  • An ex-smoker
  • A big cat
  • Someone who is good with money
  • Interesting


This is a list of things I might have been, but since the age of 22 realized I never will be:

1. Gymnast
2. Capitalist
3. Foot model
4. Patron of strip clubs
5. Dog lover
6. Living in a land locked state
7. Saved
8. Foreign Service Officer
9. Demure
10. A person with less than four names

This is a list of things that I still could be:

1. Trapeze Artist
2. On the No-Fly List
3. Stripper
4. Queer
5. College Graduate
6. Peace Corps Volunteer
8. EMT
9. Cancer survivor
10. Fluent in Spanish

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

If it's adventures you want, it's adventures I'll give you

First I would like to take a moment to honor the great and only Chairman Meow:

A tribute, by Logan Healy

Magnificent Beast!
What is it you seek outside?
Just Dandelions.

A tribute, by Samantha King

vomit on the floor
shaped like an esophagus
cat cold ate too fast

Alright, business aside... on with the adventures!

Recently, Sunday to be exact, I finally completed a 5 day road trip from the epic and historical house commonly known to you all as the space machine, formally known as 31 Ossipee Road #2, all the way to Bryan Texas which is where I currently sit and write. It was a long drive. But, with the grace of god (buddha, allah, krishna, blue demon??) we were able to make some excellent stops along the way.

Day One :After several hours of stop and go traffic through New York we finally approached the glorious lights of DC as a close second to sunset. I was tired. I was crabby. I was in an unfamiliar city. I had a 4 month old cousin to visit before his bedtime in Alexandria. I dropped Cory off at his cousin's apartment down town and made my way thither. As it turns out, I was fortunate enough to have caught the young Dash on a night of rebellion, for the young creature was still awake upon my arrival. I was able to put in a few minutes of quality cousin time that he will never remember before he drifted off to sleep. I ate the Thai food that was graciously provided for me and I sodded off.

Getting back to the city turned out to be more difficult than leaving it. This is because on my return route I: ended up in a CIA training facility parking lot (well guarded, to my embarrassment) almost hit a deer, and barely escaped the roadkill fate myself, as I made a ill advised u-turn as a desperate measure to get on the right road, causing the car behind me to screech to a precariously fast stop to avoid hitting me. But, somehow, the night ended with me peacefully sleeping on Cory's cousin's blow-up mattress. And thus day one ended. And it was good.

I just posted but Samantha is a good organizer so I'm posting again

Things which, at one point in my life, I thought I might have been, but which, since the age of 24, I have realized I will never be:

1) A professional sport player

2) A social conservative

3) A career musician

4) Unmoved by music

5) Really into poetry

6) A Yankees fan

7) A fan of musicals

8) A linear thinker

9) Not sweaty

10) Someone with a long attention span

Things which I might still be:

1) A published writer

2) A sober man

3) A not-sober man

4) Someone who takes life seriously

5) A good partner

6) A curmudgeon

7) A homeowner

8) Someone with health insurance

9) An excellent chef

10) A world-weary traveler

Hello, I wanted to introduce myself, my name is Oscar. I am a demon.

This is a list of things I COULD have been, but since the age of 24 realized I never will be:

1. Apathetic
2. Drummer in a femme punk band
3. Ivy League-educated
4. Party to an immaculate conception
5. Well-versed in military history
6. Lady-like
7. A regular contributer to
8. One of God's children
9. Debt-free
10. Settled down

This is a list of things that I still could be:

1. Well-traveled
2. Blond
3. Talented whistler
4. Skeleton key collector
5. Like my father
6. Red Sox fan
7. Social smoker
8. 9-5er
9. A regular commenter on
10. Cougar

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

This is a list of the things that I should have been...

but since the age of 24 realized that I will never be:

1: a narrow shouldered woman

2: a lovely singing voice

3: a republican voter

4: a long term resident of Massachusetts

5: a sporter of an ironic mustache

6: an obedient wife

7: someone with long term plans

8: the owner of any reptile (of any species) as a pet.

9: a successful actress

10: a crying eagle

and here is a list of the things that still may be attainable for me, maybe one day.

1: a fluent Hindi speaker

2: an ambassador

3: a butcher a baker a candlestick maker

4: a meat eater

5: a vegan

6: a competitive water skier

7: a dreamer

6: an alcoholic

8: a millionaire

9: a convict

10: a lawyer


Before I get started, a bit of blatant self-promotion - I wrote a guest blog for Progressive Future about Hurricane Gustav. It's long and rambling and reminds me of WALNUTS' acceptance speech.

Anywho, I just got back to good ol' New Orleans after a couple of weeks on the road. It feels very weird to be back. Despite being here for about three months now, this is still not "home." True as it that nowhere is "home," I still feel like a visitor here every day. Whenever I'm away and I come back, it's like I'm coming down for a visit again. I hope this feeling goes away soon; it's pretty disconcerting.

But! Colorado and California were both amazing! I always love going to Denver, and I feel like it has so much more to offer than what I do when I go there, which is mostly sit around on the porch of the Marion House and drink beer from the kegerator. Not to say that I don't love doing that, or going to Gabor's (aka the best bar ever) every night, but it's a big ol' city and I know there's lots to do. This time, I did some excellent thrifting and made it up to Indian Peaks Wilderness Area for a night of 40 degree camping at 10,000 feet. This was the view from our camp site.

That was a fun week and a half, and then it was off to the warm embrace of liberal, alfalfa-munching, gay-marrying, arugula-buying San Francisco. I only got to spend about 18 hours dicking around there (and forgot my camera while I was traipsing about) before it was off to Yosemite with Amy, McIntyre and others. We did a 17 mile hike to the top of Half Dome, which is a giant granite slab that sticks up 5,000 feet above Yosemite Valley. We woke up at 4:30 am and were on the trail by 6:00, in a procession with dozens of other masochists. We ended up making it to the summit just after 10:00, and back down before 3:00, at which point we took naps next to a beautiful vernal pool. Between the three of us, we drank about 15 liters of water. Here are some pictures.

The last quarter mile of the "trail" was a set of cables that you have to pull yourself up in order to get to the top. It was kinda fucking terrifying but exhilarating and awesome at the same time. I highly recommend.

The rest of the pictures.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My first hurricane!

This city kind of feels like a giant playground to me since noone is here. It's all been really fun and cool actually. I don't think my cats enjoyed it- they hid in the bathroom in a cabinet or behind the toilet the whole time. The storm itself was really high wind that I love the sound of and rain. Lots of branches are down, power is still out in my apartment and parts of town but really everything is A OK, considering what it possibly could have been. There was some water over the industrial canal. Also initially Monday morning there were 2 ships and a barge loose banging against the levee which is the most preventable stupidest fucking thing that could've gone wrong. It appears other parts of LA are not doing quite so well though. Plaquemines parish had a breach in the levee and the rivers in Covington look like they're going to flood.

Last night I went to a bar on St Charles and drank a lot of beer, listened to the juke box and ate free barbecue. People are so nice here, especially in times of pooling resources. He had the grill and chicken, we brought the charcoal and bread. Apparently the bartender, Elvis, doesn't even actually work there, he was just sleeping inside to watch place for his friend the owner and decided to open once power came back on. He was really funny and it was nice to relax and hang out after being glued to local news and wondering for two days.

Now I'm in the quarter at a coffee shop. The man on the computer next to me is on Almost nothing is open and there are so many more cops and military here than residents. They're talking about not letting people back till Thursday bc of power outages and clean up. Kri and Cory are you still coming?!

I was talking to my friend, Justin, who used to live here about whether it's all worth it and feasible if this is just going to keep happening to the city every August. He said he feels there's way more at stake here than just the physical city in terms of grassroots organizing and challenging racism, which made me feel better and I'll try to think about for the next hurricane. I'm really glad that I stayed and had this experience and it was all fine. I feel a little more prepared for possibly working in disaster relief, I had to start somewhere.