Robble Robble: The sordid history of McDonaldland

tonight, logan and i have plans to feast upon hamburger helper. i called it hamburglar helper (har har) and hilarity ensued; logan said if we dont eat hamburglar helper he will grimace (har har har).

ugh. anyway, i went to the mcdonaldland wikipedia page and learned so much about the mcdonaldland charecters! i wanted to share some cool mcdonaldland facts with you:

-Grimace is an anthromorphic purple tastebud.
-Initially, Grimace was the "Evil Grimace", with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes. After that first campaign, the character was revised to be one of the "good guys", and his number of arms was reduced by two.
-Grimace has the hobby of ham radio and often sends out transmissions through a homemade transmitter made from a colander.
-Ronald says Grimace has his mother's eyes, Birdie says he has his father's prominent chin, and Hamburglar jokingly says he has his Grandma Winky's fat ankles. Grimace said he's proud of them. [ed. i am not making this up, this is all pure fact]
-The Hamburglar's early dialog was a continual muttering of "BURGER, BURGER, BURGER" and gibberish. His catchphrase was "Robble, Robble." Later dialogue included normal words in a child-like voice.
-Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
-When the Fry Kids first appeared, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries.
-Captain Crook spent his time trying to steal Filet-O-Fish sandwiches from citizens of McDonaldland while avoiding being caught by Big Mac, the chief of police of McDonaldland. He would often translate for Hamburglar.
-The Hamburger Patch is part of McDonaldland where McDonald's hamburgers "grew" like fruit on plants from the Hamburger Patch.
-O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock-coat covered with several four leaf clovers and carries a shillelagh. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake.

jesus christ.