Tuesday, January 13, 2009

this new year's

this new year's i sent many of you nearest and dearest to me this completely incoherent text message: "I love yoy likr whoa wish. Was eoth you lovvvvvvew." ew indeed. those of you who missed my whiskeyfingered texting should assume that that text message was also directed towards you. i kicked off the new year by drinking so many redbull champagnes (the drink of choice in budapest so says my roommate) and so much whiskey that 45 minutes into the evening i was sharing a trashcan in an empty room with a boy who isn't sexually attracted to girls who was vomiting and intermittently making out with my other roommate (a girl). then i slumped over against the wall and repeatedly told bridgette that i was going to die. shortly thereafter, a sketchy boy we hang out with slipped me some happy pills and that's how i accidentally did drugs on new year's and felt totally awesome. i made a boy hold my purse for the duration of the evening, missed the shrimp cocktail at midnight and apparently fell frequently and fell hard judging by the bruises on my body the next morning. i remember almost nothing but there was a lot of falling, dancing and gender/sexuality disregarding makeout sessions.

the following day i went out to breakfast at a thai restaurant where we drank "hartfordmosas" (white wine and oj (see: gross))and i performed circus tricks with mardi gras beads and this one kid put on one of the straw asian hats that they decorate with which made me nervous. then we went to a restaurant within walking distance to drink bloodymarys and realized that bloodymarys without alcohol are bloodyvirgins which is just awesome. then we realized that the bloodymarys were $8 each which is decidedly not awesome so we stopped at one each and bought oj and laffy taffys ("what did yes say to no?" "maybe."-i am getting a job as a joke creator for laffy taffy. something must be done about this) and proceeded to drink mimosas at home. then we ordered a partysize pizza and delivery beer! "delivery beer?", those of you who do not live in cool cities with delivery beer and cigarettes repeat with rising intonation as if to indicate a question and not a declarative statement. that's right. there's a sketchy beer and pizza place in hartford that will deliver beer but i suspect that they have a secret word like patriot or i'm not the cops, that people usually use when ordering delivery beer from them because my experience involved asking about delivery beer, being told that "we are not going to talk to about this, please," and then being called back 5 minutes after ordering to inquire as to my beer selection. delivery beer is great except for the fact that 12 beers cost $30. after finishing the delivery beer bridgette made all of us get dressed "because we need to get some fresh air and exercise." so, we walked to the bar and got rounds of whiskey shots and some guy named apollo who writes songs, one of which is called ganja rose, offered to pay me to say happy new year to his friend. i should have taken him up on the offer.


KDHL said...

oh how i love you so. im glad you're alive. also surprised that you're alive.

robert said...

i think you won the new year.