Sunday, October 5, 2008

dick in a box

i have time capsules on the mind today. did you know, that there are two types of time capsules? there's the intentional time capsule which is filled with sundries of the time. and then there is the unintentional time capsule which is generally a result of some horrible, lava-induced disaster. according to leading time capsule scholar, William Jarvis, "most intentional time capsules usually do not provide much useful historical information: they are typically filled with "useless junk", new and pristine in condition, that tells little about the people of the time. by comparison, Pompeii contains a wealth of material about daily life, such as graffiti on walls, food in hearths and the remains of people trapped under volcanic ash." i can only imagine what archaeologists would think if the space machine were to be filled with burning lava and time-capsulated. i fear we would give 21st century humans a bad name. nothing but pbr in the fridge, whiskey in the freezer, barren food cabinets and a mummified, overweight cat wearing a spiked collar.

also, did you know that during the period of socialism in the USSR, time capsules were buried with messages to the people who would live in the future communist society? communist capsules. yay!

anyway, i would like to make a space machine time capsule (ohh, how horribly redundant) to bury in the backyard, or in kri's vagina. this will be like the message in a bottle project we did on st patricks day, except we wont be allowed to open it a month later. and hopefully erich wont bleed.

what shall we put in my time capsule? you must all come up with one thing. and dont be douchebags; this is how we will be remembered by our children's children's children's children's children's horrible mutant space robot's children.

8 comments:

Spagett! said...

I'd like to put my dignity in the space machine time capsule, but I seem to have misplaced it.

Drew said...

I would put a Saturday night 10:45 pm run to the liquor store in the space capsule.

Loganberry Crumble said...

Baby Jesus

harrison grrgeron said...

i have become equally enthralled with the idea of a time machine space capsule.

robert said...

i have a few mental images to record and place in this capsule:

grandma and french canadian naked face up in kri's bed.

the cell phone picture of kyle's balls

cory in womens underwear

a slide show which displays my barging open the bathroom door to find kri lying on her back and then peeing from the hallway

logan and i passed out in our underwear on the couches in the living room

eric and joey pressed up against cop cars (seen from beneath the porch of the neighbors house across the street)

sam answering the cops in zombie makeup

ah i could go on and on. memories...

GrrlMonstrr said...

i would put all of the unborn children into the time capsule so that just because their heartless heathen mothers don't want them now they might still have the right to life. maybe in the future when we know how to bring people back from the dead we can allow them to live full and happy lives. oh, yeah. and i'd put sarah palin in there so she could be all of babies' mom. she'd be the best mom!

the cops came to the zombie party?

KDHL said...

I would put Grandma in the time capsule with lots of outfit changes, like a paper doll. Included (but not limited to): short shorts, scally cap, jeans with permanent cell phone mark, trash bags.

Paul T. said...

I would like to submit the Evil Knievel Helmet for your consideration. After my move I think I willed it to the Spacemachine, but I am not certain.

Second would be a photo-montage of nate 'awaking from the dead' to pee on kri's window and fall asleep naked on the couch downstairs.