Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Functional Alcoholics of the World, Unite and Take Over - Day One in New Orleans, Pre-Fun-Off

I'm still waiting for my body to normalize itself after the complete shit-show that was my trip to New Orleans. I'm also waiting for some supplemental input (photos, anecdotes, etc.) from my constituents. In the mean time, here's how my first night in New Orleans went:

My trip to NOLA got off to a pretty rough start when 15 minutes before my flight was scheduled to land, the captain came over the intercom stating that there were no lights on the runway of the New Orleans Airport and we would have to land in Baton Rouge. Now, Baton Rouge is only about 70 miles from New Orleans; at the most a 10 minute flight. But of course, we had to wait for almost two hours while the lights were fixed and the plane was re-fueled. During the wait, I called Drew and told him I'd be a little late, to which he replied: "New Orleans is a second world country. Of course there are no lights at the airport!". This was only the first time that I would have to be reminded of New Orleans' status as a place where electricity, indoor plumbing and clean drinking water only exist when and where they want to.

After being picked up at the airport, Drew, KDHL and I went back to Drew's house to unwind. We drank some High Lifes (High Lives?) and Drew cooked some dinner. In the interest of keeping it low-key, we headed to a friendly neighborhood dive bar called Pal's. Pal's claim to fame is that a mentally unstable homeless man came to the bar one night, sat around for a few hours, drank some beers and in general minded his own business. He gets up to leave, then without any provocation whatsoever, stabs someone and kills him. The attendance at Pal's was never truly the same. Drew also claims they have a great juke-box. I, however, do not believe this, seeing that Drew is a hipster douche-bag and only listens to music for the sake of irony. He owns a Rick Astley tape. I shit you not.

Anyways, we get to Pal's, have some drinks and play some air hockey. Word to the wise: never play air hockey with Katie Hunter-Lowery. She will destroy you. The walls of the men's bathroom were plastered with ads, photos and foldouts from old school Playboy magazines. There were tits everywhere. Also a Colt 45 ad featuring Redd Foxx.

After getting nicely sauced, we headed back to Drew's and went to sleep.


Paul T. said...


kritaliation said...

ya. you are really going to have to step it up.

KDHL said...

This night was just to show how we prepared and trained for the Fun Off (Rigorously). At that juncture the competition had not yet commenced.

So suck it!

PS My hand was just inside a turkey. Weird. (A dead turkey)

Werd said...

Yea you guys should just relax. Once you see the funtastic times we had, you will be blown away.

Spagett! said...

Wow. Have you foreign fuck-faces forgotten English already?


a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, where it meant “before” (preclude; prevent); applied freely as a prefix, with the meanings “prior to,” “in advance of,” “early,” “beforehand,” “before,” “in front of,” and with other figurative meanings (preschool; prewar; prepay: preoral; prefrontal; prefun-off).

kritaliation said...

I don't think the exact duration of said fun-off was adequately defined. I was under the impression that it began when you arrived in New Orleans.

Spagett! said...

It began on Friday, November 21 at 7:31 pm Central time.