Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Rainforest Rant

My dearest Sirs and Madams,

I write to you from my little farm house at 8:30 pm. My house mate is here, but locked away in her own room, as she always is after dark. It's a wonder that one who cannot be exposed to the sun keeps confined to her room when it goes down. But, I don't mind, I'm not in the mood for idle conversation. I am in the mood to rant.
As you all know, I have been spending the last 4 and some weeks adjusting to my new life in Brazil. I love it. I love my job to the point that if they paid me, I might never come back. But, they don't, so I will. In fact, I must. Student loans and an unhealthy affinity towards alcohol demand that I start making money again, eventually. But for now, I am here and happy.

Having said that... there are just a few things that have been getting under my skin, both figuratively and literally, that I must, oh must, complain about. So I ask for you patience, understanding and sympathetic ears, for just a moment as I get get it off my chest.

1. Martha , who is really quite a lovely older lady.... always complains. To me. I CAN'T STAND IT. I know, I know, I am the volunteer manager and thus the designated person to receive complaints.. but they are mostly about the lack of food, or being "worn out" or "exhausted" when it only takes about 5 seconds of thought to realize that EVERYONE here works harder and eats less of the food that often runs out than her. This food I mention are the things that have to be made or picked up frequently in order to stay fresh, and depending on the amount of people, yes, do run out. Milk, eggs, tomatoes and bread are the main offenders, as they make up the entirety of her diet. If there is no milk left over in the afternoon, or on the weekends, for example, she will come up to me and say "I see there is no milk." "mmmm, yes... " I respond, wishing I could say "you want milk? go pick it up your fucking self! Who do you think does it everyday?" Because I know she knows full well that it is one of the volunteers who actually do things, but she has somehow exempted herself from all responsibility, as she had made a special arrangement with the director that she doesn't have to partake in the cooking or chores, which would be fine, if she didn't complain. The same complaints go for all the other items mentioned. Bread, for instance, I have had to learn to make myself from scratch (quite well, surprisingly), and yet, if she goes a morning, or afternoon for that matter, with out it I always hear "I see we have run out of bread again" and again I want to say "make it your fucking self if you can't go a day without it... everyone else is out of bread too, what do you think this is, a bed a breakfast?" or at other times I might say: "everyone else is out of eggs too" "everyone else had been eaten alive by bugs too" "everyone else is hot (or cold) too". I mean, really, what does she think this is? a disco?

hrmmm... perhaps. Perhaps a disco where everyone hears the music but her.

The other day, when we were out planting, I was walking up to the nursery to pick up more trees, empty crate in hand, dripping in sweat, covered in mud when she came down a hill from a self-initiated 20 minute walk and stopped me in my tracks to say "that was really unpleasant, it is just too hot out" at first I thought it might be an off-hand comment, just something to say in passing, if you will, as it was clear that the rest of us were in worse condition than her.... but she paused and looked at me expectantly, waiting for answer... a solution? sympathy? "mmmm..yes, it is hot." was all I could think to say. I still wonder if it ever occurred to her, that I too feel heat.

I have said too much. oh well, oh well. The rest of my rant will have to be saved for another post.


KDHL said...

cut a bitch

kritaliation said...

ugh.. now I feel bad for writing this because today she had done nothing but worry about my welfare. Do you think she knows?

Loganberry Crumble said...

Yeah, Sam invited her to SNAOTB 2 days ago!

robert said...

we are huge in the Brazilian rain forest

Werd said...

we're even bigger amongst people named MARTHA

why was it all in caps? is that an acronym?

Most Annoying Retiree That Has Asthma

uhhhh i can't think of anymore

harrison grrgeron said...

Martha is my mom.

JNB said...

Damn Kristin, you wrote too much-that took too long to read ;)

robert said...

rainforest rap // ninja rap